Bean There, Done That: A Comical Compilation of Bean Puns

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Beans have been a staple food for centuries, providing a source of protein and nourishment for people all over the world. But in addition to being a nutritious and delicious ingredient, beans have also inspired a rich culture of humor and wordplay.

From one-liners to groan-worthy puns, jokes about beans have been a favorite among comedians and casual joke-tellers alike. In this blog post, we’ll explore the fun and humorous world of jokes and puns about beans, and maybe even inspire you to come up with a few of your own!

Funny Jokes about Beans

  • What do you call a bean that’s had too much to drink? A mung-over bean.
  • Why did the bean go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little flatulent.
  • What’s a bean’s favorite type of movie? A rom-com-bean.
  • What do you call a bean that’s always late? A slow-simmered bean.
  • How do you make a garbanzo bean laugh? You tickle it’s chickpea.
  • What did the green bean say to the yellow bean? “Hey, bean buddy!”
  • Why don’t beans get into arguments? Because they don’t like to spill the beans.
  • What do you call a bean with a PhD? A smart bean.
  • How do you make a lima bean blush? You tell it a corny joke.
  • What’s a bean’s favorite sport? Jumping bean.
  • How do you know if a bean is sneaky? It goes behind your back.
  • What do you call a bean that’s been knighted? Sir-Loin Bean.
  • What kind of vegetable is jealous? A green bean
  • What do you call a bean that’s an excellent speller? A smart bean.
  • If you don’t like beans, you must be some kind of lentil.
  • What do you call an athletic bean? A runner bean.
  • Why did the farmer plant his beans so close together? He wanted to grow them in crowds.
  • What did the father bean say to his son? You’re growing up too fava away.
  • I wanted to make a bean salad, but all I had were garbanzos. It was a chickpea tragedy.
  • What do you call a really happy bean? A jubilant-joe.
  • Why do beans always come in cans? They like to canoodle.
  • What do you call a bean that’s a great dancer? A lima-light.
  • What do you call a bean that’s always on the move? A jumping bean.
  • What’s beans’ favorite hat? A beanie
  • What did the judge say to the bean who was on trial? “You have to spill the beans!”
  • How do you make a bean stew? Give it a little time to simmer!
  • What kind of beans can’t grow in a garden? Jelly beans
  • Why do beans make great pets? Because they’re always tooting their own horn!
  • Did you hear about the bean who got a job as a musician? He was a real gas on stage.
  • Why are beans such bad liars? Because they always give themselves away with their farts.
  • What do you call a bean that’s a comedian? A farty-party.
  • Why did the bean refuse to go to the gym? It didn’t want to work out its gas.
  • What do you call a romantic bean? A love-fart.
  • Why don’t beans ever get lost? They always know where they “toot”!
  • How do beans make decisions? They weigh the pros and cons and then let out a fart to seal the deal.
  • Why did the bean run for office? It wanted to be in charge of the gas industry.
  • What’s a bean’s favorite type of music? Anything with a lot of wind instruments!
Bean joke written overlay picture of beans

Witty One Liners about Beans

  • Why don’t beans like to argue? They’d rather keep things saucy.
  • You know what they say about beans – they’re always in the best chili.
  • What did the cannibal say after eating a bean burrito? “That was a gas!”
  • I don’t always eat beans, but when I do, I prefer a hill of them.
  • Beans, beans, they’re good for your heart, but they’re even better for a work of art.
  • I tried to make a joke about beans, but it was a bit of a re-fry.
  • You can’t bean the classics – a good bowl of baked beans always hits the spot.
  • What’s a bean’s favorite type of music? Bean-thoven.
  • What do you call a group of beans playing music? A jam session.
  • I don’t always tell bean jokes, but when I do, I try to keep them pinto the point.
  • Beans may be small, but they have a lot of heart – and fiber.
  • What did the doctor prescribe for the bean’s upset stomach? A gas-troenterologist.

Funny Bean Puns

  • I’m a soybean – I don’t just know bean-related puns, I tofu so.
  • You can’t make a meal without beans, but you can make a bean without a meal.
  • I don’t always eat beans, but when I do, I’m a musical genius.”
  • I’m a bean counter, but only when it comes to how many beans I eat in one sitting.
  • Beans are like little superheroes – they’re small, but they pack a powerful punch!
  • Beans are the perfect food. They’re cheap, versatile, and they make great sound effects.
  • You and I are meant to bean
Bean joke written overlay picture of beans

Bean Expressions

  • Cool beans – An expression of approval or agreement.
  • Full of beans – To be full of energy and enthusiasm.
  • Not worth a hill of beans – Something that is worthless or has no value.
  • Spill the beans – To reveal a secret or information that was meant to be kept confidential.
  • Bean counter – A person who is overly concerned with small details, especially related to finances.
  • Jumping beans – Refers to someone who is restless and constantly moving around.
  • Beanbag – A slang term for someone who is lazy or lacks motivation.
  • Half a hill of beans – A situation or outcome that is mediocre or unremarkable.
  • Beanpole – A tall and thin person.
  • Not for all the beans in Boston – An expression used to convey that something is not worth doing, even for a large amount of money.
  • Bean feast – A lavish or extravagant meal.
  • Have someone’s beans – To have someone under your control or influence.
  • Bean flicker – A derogatory term for someone who is indecisive or hesitant.
  • Smell of beans – An unpleasant odor, often associated with flatulence.

It’s clear that beans provide a wealth of comedic inspiration. From funny jokes to silly expressions, beans have been used in humor for centuries. Whether you prefer classic bean jokes or more modern bean puns, there’s something for everyone.

So, the next time you’re looking to add a little laughter to your day, consider incorporating some bean humor into your conversations. With so many funny bean jokes and puns to choose from, you’re sure to make your friends smile.

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