Turtle Jokes

Jokes about Turtles

Are you ready for some laughts? Well, you’re in for a treat with these Funny Jokes all About Turtles. These jokes are so silly and goofy, they’re sure to bring a big smile to your face. Let’s jump into the laughter together and have a turtle-ly awesome time with these turtle jokes for adults and kids!

If you are looking for some more water fun, match these jokes with our beach jokes, fish jokes or mermaid puns

Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station!
How do turtles communicate with each other? By using shell phones!
Why do turtles live such long lives? Because they know how to take it slow and steady!
What do you all a popular turtle? A shell-ibrity
What did one turtle say to the other before they went on a journey? “Take it one step at a time!”
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a hedgehog? A slowpoke
What did the turtle bring to the party? Its shellphone for shellfies!
What do you get when you cross a turtle and a giraffe? A turtleneck that reaches the sky!
Why don’t turtles ever share their secrets? Because they’re shellfish!
Where do turtles keep their money? In the riverbank
What did the turtle say to the taco? I love your shell
What does a turtle wear when it gets cold? A turtle neck
What type of photos do turtles take? Shellfies
How do turtles cook their dinner? In the slow-cooker
Where to homeless turtles go? To the shelter
What do you call a flying turtle? A shellicopter
What does a turtle need to ride a bike? A shellmit
Why did the turtle break up with her boyfriend? Because he was too slow
Why is a turtle’s favorite type of dance? Slow dance
What happened when the turtle failed his exam? He was shell-shocked

Sea Turtle Jokes

What do you call a turtle that takes up gardening in the ocean? A sea-weeder!
Why are sea turtles so chill? Because they always go with the flow!
What’s a sea turtle’s favorite game? Shell and seek!
Where to sea turtles sleep? In a water bed
Why don’t sea turtles eat at McDonalds? They don’t like fast food
What is a sea turtle’s favorite food? Peanut butter and jellyfish sandwiches
What do you call a sea turtle who loves to take photos? A snappy turtle
Why don’t sea turtles share their food? They are shellfish

Ninja Turtle Jokes

Cowabunga, dudes and dudettes! Get ready for a totally tubular adventure with these ninja turtle jokes that would make even Master Splinter crack a smile:

Why did Michelangelo bring a ladder to the pizza party? Because he heard the pizza was on a higher level!
What’s Leonardo’s favorite song? “Slice, Slice, Baby!”
Why did Donatello become a scientist? Because he wanted to know if two nunchucks are better than one!
What’s a Ninja Turtle’s favorite type of math? Turtle-nometry!
What did the Ninja Turtles say when they discovered a new pizza topping? “That’s grate!”
Why did Donatello become a computer expert? Because he heard that’s where you find the best byte-sized pizza!
How do the Ninja Turtles keep their shells shiny? They use turtle wax, of course!
How do the Ninja Turtles stay fit? They practice their shell-f defense!
Why did the Ninja Turtles get fired? They keep destroying the shredder
How to the Ninja Turtles celebrate their birthdays? They shell-ebrate

Turtle Knock Knock Jokes

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Shell. Shell who? Shell we tell another turtle joke?
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Terry. Terry who? Terry-fic to meet you!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tide. Tide who? Tide-y up your room,
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you glad you are not a turtle
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? Tank you for laughing at my turtle jokes!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tidal. Tidal who? Tidal wave of turtle jokes coming your way!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Shell. Shell who? Shell we dance? I’m in the mood for a good time!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Current. Current who? Current-ly enjoying these sea turtle jokes, are you?
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Do you noah good turtle joke?
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Eddie. Eddie who? Eddie body home in that shell?

I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face and maybe even a little laughter. Turtles may be slow and steady, but their sense of humor is top-notch.

Remember to share these jokes with your friends and family to spread the joy and keep the good vibes flowing.