Hand Puns and Jokes

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Hands Down Hilarious: The Best Hand Puns and Jokes

Hand puns are a great way to add some humor to your conversations. They are easy to come up with and can be used in a variety of situations, from everyday conversations to social media posts.

From finger-pointing gags to palm-sweating puns, we’ve compiled a list of the best hand jokes out there. So, buckle up and get ready to palm the laughter!

1. Let’s get this show on the road with a classic hand gag. What did one hand say to the other? “I’m your biggest fan!” Get it? Fingers are like fans, because they can wave around and stuff. Okay, okay, maybe it’s not that funny, but it’s a good way to warm up to some more hilarious hand humor.

2. Now, let’s get into some real palm-sweaters. Why did the hand cross the road? To get to the second-hand shop. Okay, okay, we’ll stop with the easy ones. But seriously, that one’s a classic. 

3. Oh, and speaking of classics, do you know why the flower couldn’t ride its bike? It lost its pedals. Get it? Petals? Yeah, we know it’s not a hand joke, but it’s still a good one. 

Here are some Funny Hand Jokes

1. Why did the hand go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little thumb!
2. What did one hand say to the other hand? High five!
3. Why did the hand break up with the fingers? It wanted some space!
4. What do you call a hand that’s always on time? A second hand!
5. What do you call a hand that’s always causing trouble? A handful!
6. What do you call a hand that’s really good at math? A calculator!
7. Why did the hand go to the party alone? Because it couldn’t find a date!
8. What do you call a hand that’s really into gardening? A green thumb!
9. What do you call a hand that’s always hungry? A finger-licking good one!
10. What did the left hand say to the right hand? “Hey, buddy, can I give you a hand?”
11. Why did the hand cross the road? To get to the second-hand store.
12. What do you call a hand that can play music? A handel!
13. What do you call a hand that’s always cold? A palm-sicle!
14. Why did the hand break up with the wrist? It just wasn’t working out.
15. What do you call a hand with no fingers? A palm!
16. Why do hands make bad detectives? They always leave their fingerprints everywhere.
17. How does a hand communicate with a foot? They use sign language!
18. Why did the hand go on a date with the clock? It had a second hand!
19. How does a hand write a letter? It uses a pen-pal!
20. What do you call a hand that’s always on time? A second hand!
21. Why did the hand go to the restaurant? It wanted to try the finger foods.
22. How do you make a handkerchief disappear? You put it in your pocket!
23. Why did the hand go to the library? It wanted to check out some books on palm reading.
24. How does a hand talk on the phone? It uses a palm pilot!

15 Hand Puns:

1. I wanted to tell you a joke about my hand, but it’s a little bit of a reach.
2. If you’re ever feeling lonely, just remember that you have a helping hand.
3. I never trust people who have cold hands, they’re usually a little shifty.
4. You might say my hands are my right and left hand men.
5. Did you hear about the guy who got his whole hand stuck in a blender? He really had to hand it to the doctor who saved him.
6. I just got a new job as a hand model. It’s not easy, but I can handle it.
7. I have a friend who always has sweaty palms. He’s always so nervous, but at least he’s always at hand.
8. You might say that the best part of my day is when I get to lend a hand to someone in need.
9. Have you ever noticed how many idioms there are about hands? I guess you could say they’re a dime a dozen.
10. I recently learned that the human hand has 27 bones in it. That’s a real handful.
11. If you’re ever feeling down, just remember that you have two hands to lift you back up.
12. I used to play handball, but I had to quit. I just couldn’t handle the pressure.
13. I once got a manicure and the technician did such a good job that I tipped her hand over fist.
14. When it comes to cooking, I always prefer to do things by hand. It’s the only way to get a real feel for the ingredients.
15. I heard that if you hold your hands above your head for a few minutes, it can help you feel more energized. I guess you could say it’s a real hands up approach.

10 Hand Captions:

1. “Hands are the tools of the heart.”
2. “Hold my hand and never let go.”
3. “Hands that help are holier than lips that pray.”
4. “The touch of a hand can heal the soul.”
5. “A kind word and a gentle hand can change the world.”
6. “Hands are the windows to the soul.”
7. “Love is holding hands in the good times and the bad.”
8. “A hand to hold, a heart to love.”
9. “The hands that help are the hands that heal.”
10. “Hands that are open to give are never empty.”

Hand Riddles:

1. What has four fingers and a thumb, but isn’t alive? Answer: A glove.
2. I am always in front of you, but you can’t see me. What am I? Answer: Your other hand.
3. What is the difference between your left hand and your right hand? Answer: Your left hand is on the left side of your body and your right hand is on the right side.
4. What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right hand? Answer: Your right elbow.
5. What has a thumb and four fingers but is not a hand? Answer: A glove again!
6. What has a thumb and four fingers but is not alive? Answer: A mannequin’s hand.
7. What do you call a hand that’s been in the water for a long time? Answer: A wrinkled hand.
8. What do you call a hand that’s been working in the garden all day? Answer: A green thumb.

Hands-down, hand puns and jokes are the ultimate way to tickle your funny bone. So, next time you see a hand, don’t be afraid to crack a pun or two. After all, laughter is the best medicine!

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